My Top 11 Music Videos Of 2011, Sucka

  This year was exceptional for music, all types and genres. So, before I finished my top albums of the year blog, I figured I would do something I hadn't done before and post my favorite music videos, as well. Eleven for twenty eleven. This wasn't as simple as I thought it'd be, that's for sure. As a matter of fact, half way through the drafting process I wanted to quit. Is wracking my brain and researching this much for an idiotic blog that perhaps a handful of people (if that) will skim through quickly and ultimately dismiss, really worth it? Well, I convinced myself that it was. It'll be fun to look back on this, and more importantly, have one location with all my favorite music videos whenever I feel the craving to watch one. Oh, also, I know for a fact I've probably forgotten a few gems that I will end up kicking myself for whenever I realize it, but alas, I did my best. Well, it's six in the morning, crack of dawn and I ain't yawning. So without further adieu, here they are:

#11- KITTIE - "We Are The Lamb"
  This is a very odd choice, but I don't want to say the most bizarre, seeing as this lot is littered with peculiar selections. When I looked back on this one and watched it again I realized I couldn't leave it off the list. Zombies, cannibalism, very attractive women, a killer main guitar riff? It's all here. Simple but effective, for me anyway.

#10- Mr MUTHAFUCKIN eXQUIRE featuring EL-P - "Huzzah"
 I argued with myself the most over this one, believe it or not. I kept telling myself to put it in the "honorable mentions" area at the end of this. I just couldn't do it, and here's why: See that picture above for the video? Yeah, that's why. EL-P is God. My opinion's probably somehow biased, but EL-P's verse is my favorite verse this year in Hip Hop. I'm dead serious. Listen to what he's saying a few times, once you get what's going on in his verse, congratulations. Plus, it's in black and white, they're all having fun in their own scenarios, and did I mention DAS RACIST? Yeah, huzzah!

#9- WATSKY - "Danger"
  I could have all too easily filled this list with nothing but Ricky Shabazz music videos. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I didn't. I was only going to allow one of his videos in this list. It came down to a mental argument between this one, and CESCHI's - "Cold Sores". Both those videos are somewhat similar with a protagonist rapper defending himself against some undesirables, but I ultimately chose this one because of the sheer output of Watsky this year. He's done nothing but drop mix-tapes, singles, and terrific music videos. This might arguably be his best of the year. Look him up.

#8- BUSDRIVER - "Kiss Me Back To Life"
  This album, "Beaus$Eros", didn't even come out in 2011, but the first music video single did, and here it is. Wow, what can you say? I love it. This is also not the last of Busdriver on this list. Ohhhhh whoaaaa foreshadowing!

#7- HAIL MARY MALLON - "Meter Feeder"
  Such a simple, yet complex idea executed tremendously. It was difficult to choose between Meter Feeder and Garfield, but I think this one was more artistic and less comedic, like the rest of their videos are. Also, my favorite song off this great album. I have to watch it the entire length once I play it. I wonder how long it took to edit and create..

#6- THE TEMPER TRAP - "Love Lost"
  I don't want to overcomplicate this by saying much. Just watch it. Very original idea for such a truly beautiful song.

#5- FLASH BANG GRENADA - "Good Cop, Bad Cop"
 This is without a doubt, easily my most watched video of 2011. I don't know how you can justify putting a live video on a best of the year list, but this is so entertaining, so mesmerizing, so talented, so on-point, I don't think I have to. Do you realize how much skill that takes? No, you probably don't. Plus, it's done with so much carelessness, they make it seem like a walk in the park. Thank you Busdriver and Nocando, thank you.

#4 - MASTODON - "Curl Of The Burl"
      Remember when I mentioned bizarre? Well, this probably does it. Words can't really describe how much I love the mighty Mastodon. Even if you don't like metal or rock, watch this astounding, weird tale set to their single. What is there not to like? And also, what exactly is going on here? I don't care but I love watching it. \m/

#3 - TYLER THE CREATOR - "Yonkers"
 Yeah, that. An explanation is unnecessary. If you were alive this year, you probably know about this and have seen it multiple times. There's a reason for that. Was 2011 OFWGKTA's year? If it wasn't, who's year was it? Powered by the success and attention this video received, I would say it was. Everyone either had some appreciation or criticism to give this, but they talked about it.

#2 - PHAROAHE MONCH - "Clap"
     This mini-movie is excellent. I would never have guessed that you could make such an awesome and lengthy music video from this song. The lyrics are death, like you'd expect from Pharoahe, but the vivid imagery only intensifies it. The best part is when the music drops out altogether during the chase climax and, well, just watch if you haven't. You'll see why it's on this list and at number two.

#1- FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE - "No Light, No Light"
       I had already known and heard about Florence and The Machine from their single, "Dog Days", which came out like a year ago, or around there. I had never seen a video from them, though. I'm glad my first one was this one. Thanks to rapper B.DOLAN mentioning that this was probably the video of the year on his twitter feed.. Well, guess what? He's right. This is cinematic in every sense of the word. It's beautiful, enchanting, fits perfectly with the song, etc; There's a few videos, I imagine, that have the same idea, but only this one pulls it off with such haunting attention to detail, with such a glorious backing music accompaniment. Yes, this is my favorite video of the year. Probably a shocker.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:
  OPEN MIKE EAGLE - "Nightmares" - I kept trying to take a video out to include this one, but I couldn't. Please listen to this man's CD, "Rappers Will Die Of Natural Causes". You'll be seeing it on my top albums of the year, and this video from it is tremendous. A good man, and thorough..
   WAX - "Coins" - One of my favorite rappers completely tears it up in this dizzying display of ferocious lyricism. You'll get a headache, if not just from the wordplay..
   KID CUDI - "Mr. Rager" - I didn't include this video because of the ending, and a few other reasons, but I really felt that a Cudi video demanded to be on the list. Well, at least it made my mentions.
   NAS - "Nasty" - One of the best rappers of all time goes in and destroys a simple idea, with such fervor. Nas is never going away. If you hold a mic, you respect this man. This video showcases him, as you'd expect.

  Like I said, I know I probably forgot some. Bring them up to me, let's see if I don't agree with it. Don't throw things at me for my opinions, unless it's food, or alcohol. In that case it's fine, be my guest.
Thank you all for reading, if you did. I'll be back with my top eleven albums of 2011.

  Peace and Bless to you and yours,

.,CAStLE,.

Odd Things To Do To Make Your Bad Day More Enjoyable

After the incredibly shitastic day I've just had, I was awaiting with great anticipation getting home to douse my bed in gasoline, and laying in it with a lit cigarette. But instead, amidst the chaotic, hallucinogenic state of sleeplessness, my mind, or what was left of it, began to wander. I found myself laughing at imaginary scenarios. Do any of you do that, or am I that off the deep end? I figured it'd be somewhat constructive to write them down, and document them. But even better yet, I decided to put it into a blog. So, seeing as it's been forever since I've updated this tomb of a website, here goes what I am titling, "Odd Things To Do To Make Your Bad Day Enjoyable."

CAStLE Disclaimer: I am not, by any means, an authority of anything, much less someone you should take advice from. As a matter of fact, I'm feeling very delirious at this very moment. Continue reading at your own risk.

#1 ~ After every, "God bless you", a friend or acquaintance has granted you after a sneeze, quickly retort with a simple but firm, "Fuck you!" or, "Suck my dick!"
This seems simple enough, but with great execution, can be quite comforting and pleasant. Advanced experts might want to try this with strangers, but in that case, perhaps switching up the retort might make for a better scenario. For example, a quickly placed, "Mind your business!" or, "Did I ask for your opinion?", might do the trick. The point here is you're already in a bad mood, so displaying your true emotions and catching someone off guard can feel very therapeutic. Try telling them to suck it. Feel free to experiment.

#2 ~ When sighing or clearing your throat, do so at an obnoxiously loud volume.
With a bad day, you'll most likely find yourself doing either of these a few times and trust me, it can be a great release. There's also many variations of this one, all fun and enjoyable, for you at least. The more people you get staring at you, the better the job you've done. High five!

#3 ~ Start a fight with a complete stranger.
Now we're talking turkey. This idea is so incredible, they made the greatest movie of all time off of it. Everyone knows, movies don't lie. This idea might prove to be more difficult than it sounds, and dangerous, but therein lies the reward. You certainly won't be worried about the job you just lost and your car that just broke down when you're getting beaten up, or bludgeoning someone. So man up, pussy. Get that frustration out on a stranger's face. They deserve it. Now it's their bad day.

#4 ~ Choose a song or melody that is highly criticized, peculiar, or obnoxious, and see how many people you can get fixated on that particular song by reciting it, continuously.
You don't have to be having a bad day to do this bad boy. I do it daily. It helps to hum it to add a vague mystique, so it's almost like a game people around you will hate to win. Personal favorites are: "I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth!", and "It's that Laffy Taffy.. The Laffy Taffy!" Y'know, the contemporary pop classics.

#5 ~ Throw things. Throw many things. Preferably at people. Throw a fish at the ceiling. Throw a bottle or glass at an animal or small child. Bingo.

#6 ~ Two words: Death Metal. You're welcome.

#7 ~ Be as confusing as possible in conversations with anyone, and talk to yourself out loud, at great lengths.
These will probably come natural to you, I know they usually do for me. Sometimes I'll have arguments with myself and start shouting while in the frozen food section at a local grocery store. "You're going to get some more pepperoni pizza Hot Pockets, you fat shit? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS WHY NO ONE ON EARTH WANTS TO FUCK YOU? Go get some more ice cream, tubby." It's important and helpful to remember that it's always your fault that something bad happened, even an unforeseen circumstance. Now act accordingly.

#8 ~ Figure out a preset phrase that you'll utter often, which will do nothing but confuse people and hopefully make your day more enjoyable.
For example, someone tries their usual chitchat about their favorite episode of The Office, just stare dead-eyed at them and reply with, "You think you're better than me?!" Now that's refreshing, so keep it up.

#9 ~ Kill every living thing around you and then rape it.

#10 ~ Just go with the flow, and don't give a shit.
This is the last one because I'm being completely serious. I've found in the seemingly never-ending amount of bad days I've had, that instead of getting frustrated and angry, keeping calm and almost sedated makes everything seem to go by faster and less difficult. The more I get fed up and worry with my mind in a million different places, the more problematic things become. Stress is a killer for sure. I'm stressed about a ton of things right now, I usually am. But the main point is, things are going to happen regardless and it's best to just do what you can and keep it moving. Which is one of my favorite sayings, by the way.
Well, at this moment I'm finally home. If anybody did read this, I hope it was at least a slightly enjoyable read. I'm sure there were tons of grammatical errors, seeing as I did this stressed out and half-assed. Man, I'm fading fast.. Now to just find that damn gasoline....

Bye.

Uhm, excuse me.. Can you be quiet? You're very annoying..

Damn people, I have no idea how I intend to do that amazing show justice with a dumb blog, but screw it all I'm going to try anyways. It's been far too long since I've at least attempted something on this barren, desolate wasteland, Blogspot.

Tonight was apparently supposed to be a night of wrath and raptures, but for me and my homeys Jay and Liger, it was a night of Rammstein. Departing souls be damned, I kind of had been waiting for this show for a few months for numerous reasons. First off, I like Rammstein. You know.. The German industrial metal group, with that classic, 'Du Hast'. Now, I don't care if you only listen to country music or harpsichords, there's certain shows that if they come around, you should attempt to see them, regardless of whether you like them or not. This is a prime example. If you aren't already aware, this band is notorious for pyrotechnics and flames galore, which I reveled in first hand. But never mind those formalities, let's skip to the reason I did this blog, which is to give a slight bit of insight to those that might not have been lucky enough to go, or even in the know.

The show started with an opener called 'Combi-Christ', or something. Meh.. Like most openers, they seemed pre-chosen to fit into Rammstein's fan base. They were okay I guess. In the time waiting between the opener and the headliner, my Dactyl friend, Liger, was obviously very excited. When he becomes excited he does this pterodactyl screech from Hell that has many variations, which if you've ever had the misfortune of meeting this poor soul, you'd know he does it quite often. This fool is loopy, but has yet to really get obnoxious or even do the scream yet, when this overweight, stiff, red haired woman in front of us snaps around to tell him, "Excuse me. Can you please be quieter for awhile, you're very annoying and blah blah blah, burp burp burp." Well, something of that nature, Liger couldn't make out a hundred percent of it, either. He just slumped in his chair like he had just been spit on. He shook his head to us, and explained what he'd heard her say. Now, granted this fool can be mad annoying. As a matter of fact, a lot of my friends really don't fuck with him, and hate on him a little bit, because he can be boisterous at great lengths. But mind you, THIS ISN'T A GODDAMN BANQUET OR COUNTRY CLUB MEETING for Christ's sake, it's a damn Metal show. Was she serious? Anyway, this would pave the way for many laughs had at her expense (and her back), as we would make sure to be as loud as possible for the remainder of the event.

Up goes the curtains. Actually, there was no curtain. It was a hole in the metal, Alien-like, H.R. Giger reminiscent stage's floor that opened, and in darkness a single lighted figure emerged. It was the lead singer. That fool is buff, and looks like an escaped mental patient. Now keep in mind, I'm not going to regale everything, or even attempt to remember most, but I did want to do this band justice, and explain some of the dope stuff I did remember.

Sound was perfect. Very, very loud and thunderous, everything as it should sound. The stage was bomb like I mentioned before, a factory like set-up, with a huge backdrop of lit tears through a huge fabric. The first two songs went on through mostly darkness, with very little pyrotechnics, other than a pretty dope amount of light hanging from everywhere and fixed to everything. After that it was straight flame-on, no-homo?

Everything from suits the guitarists wore with flamethrowers on their arms, to flame spitting devices on the back stage, foreground, and sides, to spark firework things that emitted stuffs from the heavens for us heathens. A particularly bomb inclusion was mid-way through the show, the lead singer and very animated keyboard player tussled and as an outcome, the keyboard player was put in a bathtub, while the lead singer rode a device high upward, just to drop tons of sparks and flames into the tub on this poor guy. Fortunately, like a magic trick, this fool emerged somehow wearing a sequined shiny suit, and a wig (I think)to return to his keyboard set-up, which now became a friggin' treadmill while he played. Lasers, huge and many fog machines, conveyor belts and trap doors, on this multi-leveled stage were just some of the perks.

Two of my favorite parts of this concert was when at the very end half of the stage floor opened up to have the lead singer ride through the bottom on a gigantic tank-angel-metal hybrid that spit long, long flames out the wingtips. I couldn't even figure out what the fuck this Robocop wet dream was, or really looked like in the dark, but I knew it was huge and beastly. I can haz it, please? The other part that I enjoyed most, but was probably lost on a few people because of so much dope stuff continually happening, was at the three quarter mark, the lead singer picked up a numerous headed blue flame crossbow thingy, and shot it straight forward into the audience. The shot burst into purplish, spinning, sparking, loud whirling dervishes, that journeyed to a poll across the event center, and then returned. What the fizzle? These damn Germans. Oh, by the way, I noticed not a single black person at this event. Damn, SMH..

A few of the other times out of the many I'm desperately trying conjure in my mind are the keyboard player riding a river raft around the audience, the second encore of the biggest flames from even the ceiling, and the four electric pillars forever behind them, popping and sparking while they simultaneously shoot fireworks and supposedly self-destruct. Hopefully, if I've done this well enough, you'll no longer be questioning why I would go to such a show, but rather, why YOU didn't go to such a show. This band hardly tours in America, and I was lucky to see them to be able to put them somewhere in my top ten shows I've ever seen. Granted, I most likely have seen as many, or more shows than a great amount of the people you know. I don't know exactly where I place it yet, though.
I've added some lame pictures, but they aren't too great, and really don't help too much. Anyways, hoped you enjoyed reading this, a fraction as much as I enjoyed psycho Germans playing with fire on stage. Mostly, keep an open mind of stuff you might not be too privy on, you might experience some stuff. Or something.. I don't know, whatever that means.. Peace

.,CAStLE,.

As this supposed loving, cold month comes to an end, it is time to reflect..

I've spent most of today taking advantage of some much needed, alcohol induced sleep. I usually tend not to go in to too much detail, or even mention how a show went after it is finished. My mindstate is usually preoccupied, and I'm pretty much on a 'keep it going' mentality. Rarely do I do thank you's or mentions, but I figure this time maybe try something different, seeing as this day happened to be the last of this month.
I had been working on this show, in some shape of form, for a great amount of time. Maybe four or five months? The time or effort required for a show like this, is really something I consider minor, especially when getting the opportunity to see, and spend time with CESCHI. I could easily say, without any doubt, that this man is one of my favorite people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Even though his music is incredibly inspiring, to say the least, it's the way this man carries himself, unlike a vast amount of people I've ever met, that might call themselves professionals. There's a reason why he is loved so much. This might sound a little excessive, but I really could care less, because anyone that meets him automatically gets a similiar impression of him. I'm almost positive about that. He's always been nice, understanding, easy going, attentive, thorough, and personal, which are just a few of his qualities that come to mind. I wouldn't be surprised at the number of friends he has like me, surrounding the country, because he's that great of a human.
Anyway, we had been working to get a super show formed, comprised of two tours, but that fell apart. This came as a delightful surprise later, as it would give me the opportunity to not only still see both tours, but perform on both of them as well. The first being the DarkTime Sunshine show with Busdriver, which out of nowhere became my first real solo show. I was kind of going into it as an experience to use to work out the kinks, if you will. Basically like a test run. But then it became a bigger show with Busdriver and DarkTime quickly getting added to the bill, which easily upped the ante and expectations. Did it make me nervous? Well, I guess a little bit, but nervousness now only occurs at the rare times when something goes wrong, or unforeseen circumstances make something a lot more difficult and problem filled. I don't get nervous much now going into shows, regardless of their size or attendance. That show actually turned out very ill. Had a lot of fun, my set went pretty dope, thanks a good amount to my brother VYRIZ getting my back on a last minute addition. He definitely made it less difficult. I think I only counted an amount of two or three errors, one of which would of hardly been noticed. Also, seeing DarkTime Sunshine perform is always awe inspiring. ONRY OZZBORN does a great job of riding a beat, to some of the widely respected and treasured production of the God ALEX ZAVALA. ZAVALA is another great man. If you haven't still listened to their album "VESSEL", which I considered easily the best of last year(Maybe might be added to my top ten list of all time) I can only implore you to do so, as it is truly astounding.
The LandMark tour last night had a few hitches. I was somewhat angry at the DJ PHOENIX ORION for arriving pretty late, but as time would pass, and discussions with him ensued, the lateness was of little importance as I could only count three or two people who were really bothered by the delay. It was good to chop it up with him. He seems like a cool dude with a wide reputuation, although perhaps he might want to work on his punctuality, har har. The second problem was one that caused me much grief. Before CESCHI went on, he asked me where the mic stand was. So, I searched, asked others, had them help me search all the crevices of this two story club, to no avail. What the fuck? How does a venue not have a mic stand? What was CESCHI going to have to play the guitar and telepathically float the mic in front of his mouth? That wouldn't have surprised me by the way. Having to tell him there wasn't one sucked Tom Selleck's ballsack. He didn't get angry, but I could tell he was a bit annoyed. In the end, this girl Misty held it for him, and his show was brilliant as it usually is. FACTOR does a great job of being FACTOR. Better than anyone, actually. He's a gifted beatmaker, drink taker and DJ. AWOL did a great, long set. We've performed with him at least a couple times, though. How did our set go? I personally feel it was one of out best. I can't recall a hiccup, except for a verse switch that I had decided, that I'm sure no one noticed anyways, except for the two dead guys beside me on stage. We had an ultra smooth segway intro to the Tales From The Crypt theme, a classical ending piece, and to top it off, I finished with finally doing a full version of my solo track "LETHAL LIQUID", with family DONNIE MENACE and HASSAN. Damn, that was fun! I didn't do enough physically, if I didn't sweat a good amount, which I did. It was also enjoyable to chop it up with PHIL A, DEVASTATE and EVERS MCGEE. Good people, for the most part.. Zing! One of the most enjoyable things about a good performance, is the following diner or restaurant discussion and/or debauchery with friends. I acted a fool with napkins, condiments, and water, not to mention the loud vulgar expressions flung about into the air for all the other patrons to take discomfort in.
On a side note, dealing in this business you learn early on not to depend or rely on almost anyone. Only a few you will trust, and even fewer depend on. Especially the people that tell you their coming to your show, and never do. It's not like it's a necessity that friends be there at your show, but when they go out of their way to make it understood that they are, and then nothing, it becomes tired very, very quick. If I had a nickle for every time... Well, you get the gist. As a performer, you have to just shake it off, because it's going to happen every time.
All and all, even though I kind of took a loss on the money side, it seemed that most people enjoyed everything, had a great time and went home happy.. Which is what it's about, right? Needless to say, I always appreciate everyone who makes an effort to come out to our shows, because unlike other people with significant others and families, all I have is this. I put everything I have left into it, get into trouble at work because of it, and don't get to do as much as I want because of this. We've improved to the point that it's only a matter of time before we can read the audiences, as well as our minds, and then sequentially rip the brains from their skulls and eat them as a delightful encore. We might even do that for our next show on the twentieth of March, with The SHAPESHIFTERS.
So, like I said, I appreciate and remember everyone who has helped us or showed up, and promise you many more goodies in store. I also appreciate you reading this. There will be a quiz following it, and maybe some late night sex. Sticky sex. So until next time, you greased up freaks.... Much Love.

.,CAStLE,.

I call myself "CAStLE", and this is why..........

Everyone has a nickname. Even the most unknown and unpopular of hermits has had a nickname or something they were referred to as, regardless of whether they knew of it or not. A vast many people call themselves something for an even more endless amount of reasons. Why am I CAStLE? Well....

The story of how the name stuck and became somewhat official for me, was pretty simple. I had already had a slew of nicknames. Some of them complimentary, most of them goofy. I was always a fan of FRANK CASTLE aka; The Punisher in comic books and the like. There was a group of older friends starting a close knit type of group called "Echo Side", that I was not only to be a member of, but also a 'Don' as they so commonly referred to as a boss, of sorts. There was 4 of these including me, in which they were making a special adjustment to allow me this title. Anyways, long story short, I went through a small amount of fraternity type challenges. Honestly, looking back, some of it I hated at the moment, but would come to love it later, because the memory is so original and vivid to me still. So, I succeeded, I was now CAStLE.

The thing about this name is it is NOT original in any aspect. To this date, I've seen like 4 other fools calling themselves Castle, almost all for the same reason. They also like The Punisher. Congratulations fellas, you're a one-of-a-kind. However, the reasons in which I call myself CAStLE, which are the reasons I relate to the character, are personal to me.

Frank Castle the Punisher is an Italian(Yeah, that's right, original name Frank Castiglione. Look it up.)vigilante who has had his family taken from him. Perhaps you've seen at least one of the three movies. He's an outcast who keeps to himself. A miscreant. A loner. An outsider. Also, more importantly, a pessimist. It's rarely covered in anything, but one of the things that makes him so admirable, to me anyway, is that he wants to die. Yet, every fight or endeavor he jumps into, that's the one thing that usually saves him. He expects to die, expects the worse to happen, but it never comes. Anyone who knows me, knows I practically live my life by that notion. My pessimistic ways always look down and expect the worst, so that hopefully I become wrong, and I'm pleasantly surprised. This is my motto. Whats the worst that could happen? I expect the negative to happen, it does, and then at least I was right and perhaps have prepared. However, if I'm wrong and something does go my way, I'm delightfully surprised, and a weight has been lifted. Does the latter happen much? Sadly, no. Some might claim my attitude might bring this outcome about. Well, to that all I can say is, I don't want bad things to happen, I just expect them with my track record and am too familiar with my own luck, if you will. I made a whole record in which the point of it was to be the opposite, and have a positive outlook. Has it worked at all? Maybe more on that some other time.

So, taking in to account all the factors- I don't have much of a family in my life, I'm pretty much a loner who stays to himself and doesn't say much, I'm Italian, and the fact that I don't expect much and am pessimist, makes it easy to sympathize with Mr.Castle. Almost everyone else probably solely likes the guy for the skull on his chest and blazing guns. How long will I go with this nickname, if it is that? Will it last? Should I ever change it? The only thing I could say to these questions is that I know whats reasonable, and I know what I'm familiar with. Only time will tell.. Or maybe time won't. I wouldn't be surprised.

CAStLE aka
Mike Interrante

"New Years Eve: for Dummies"

The following is a very random list of recorded events that took place on or around my recent New Years Eve experience, 2010.
Great. My car was dead again. This piece of shit battery, in this piece of shit Volkswagen, had let me down before. It wasn't much of a surprise. Why do I even own this dumb "Rabbit"? A nickname apparently already fashioned to the Volkswagen Cabriolet model in my possession. Oh, that's right, because I didn't have much of a choice, and I was hopeful when purchasing it. Both can be recipes for future disaster. Oh well, maybe this was a gift in disguise? Perhaps it was better this way. At least now I didn't have to worry about a D.U.I., right? Which I had been somewhat imagining, since this would be the first time this Vegas local experienced New Years Eve on the strip.
Family from San Fransisco was in town, and I'd locked them a room at the Hooters hotel. Not really the most extravagant place, but it was all that was available and it cost an arm and a leg. The family in question was my cousin, I nicknamed "Paramore". I call her Paramore, because she somewhat resembles the lead singer of that band. Her and her brother are my favorite family members, and we've always been, well, at least closer than I am with the rest of my extended family.
I started off my evening meeting up with my brother Jesta. He hooked it up with the Subway sandwiches because he's a debonair gentleman like that. We copped two bottles we both went in on. Ciroc 'Red Berry', and Crown Royal Black. Ciroc is my favorite liquor, only second to Crown Royal. I hadn't tried the new one, however. I would find out later it is tremendous. Great, a new liquor I'll spend my money on. Crap!
After a very confusing and odd bus trip to get down to the strip, and a lengthy wait for my cousin and others, we finally met up. After this joining, everything seemed to be in fast forward. Have you ever had that feeling, you're at a party or something, and you step back and just observe everyone while you take yourself out of the element? I feel I do that far too often. Well, anyway, her friends were all the typical San Franciscan douche baggy, hippy, but harmless variety. Before you could say bottoms up, the bottles were gone. All 7 of these mini Joaquin Phoenix's had done their damage. Both Jesta and I were still craving libation. After a great refreshing conversation with him, while the surrounding chatter ensued, it was time for my fungus!
I had had some shrooms left over from a prior purchase, and as luck would have it, I was able to save it for this New Years evening. I really shouldn't be a fan of hallucinogenic mushrooms, because every time I've taken them, it hasn't been necessarily the greatest and most enjoyable trip. Either way I gobbled them up with some delightful vanilla nougat trail mix. It masked the familiar taste of Lucifer's balls. Win! We all then adjourned into the outside World, where things would really begin, and we could as my buddy Liger would say,"Fuck shit up!"
All of us made a journey to The Tropicana.
Paramore and her clan met up with some upper class, Wall Street lookin' ass, pretty white friends playing roulette (also known as tourists). One of which was a popular brunette femme fatale, who resembled Megan Fox, but less trashy. Eyes were on her, what a shocker! It was around this time that my dawg Tokkken showed up and joined us. If you know Tokkken, then you know discrete insanity. He looks like a mini Dave Chapelle. As a matter of fact, later on in the night, some white dude would call him Dave Chapelle, which he ignored like he usually does. Tokkken was dressed in a full KungFu Gee. Not too surprising if you know him at all, but entertaining, none the less.
We tried to get my cousin and the muppets she was with to join us in a trek to Fat Tuesdays aka: The greatest place ever created. I love Fat Tuesdays and their delicious frozen liquor concoctions. It doesn't hurt that I have the hook up, either.
It's pretty difficult for me to get drunk, but Fat Tuesdays uses gross amounts of booze in a sugary frozen drink, which would likely kill a penguin, if given the chance. Luckily, this penguin was a professional.
After a tedious tug-of-war between Jesta and I, and Paramore and her boyfriend, who I will now call Yakballz (spitting image), they decided they would in fact, not be coming with us to drink at Fat Tuesdays. I'm still a bit angered and regret them not coming with us. What were they going to do? Stay and get finger raped by Christian Bale and his harem of high class hoes? Needless to say, this would be the last time I would see Paramore during her whole trip. Weak. Thanks, Christian.
Here, my friends, is where the story gets real interesting yet difficult. As Jesta, Tokkken, and I turn and start walking towards our next destination for booze, my shrooms really start kicking in. Now, I didn't tell either of them this, but the whole time walking was like a travel through a Kaleidoscope. Walking directly on Las Vegas Boulevard, with tons of people surrounding me walking as well, was surreal. The shrooms made it feel as if the several, several people around were on fire and running. I knew it wasn't true, so I just tried to stay with my head down. Smiling to myself, these visions were vivid. The mental images kept flying while walking through the hotels, and I don't know what kept me from freaking out. Maybe the Crown Royal? Maybe Tokkkens outfit and rapist wit? Who knows, but when we finally got to the extremely crowded Fat Tuesdays, I felt like I'd reached a safe point, and had made my mecca. Time to get saved.
The home girl hooked it up something fierce. Jesta got one of the drinks so huge you have to strap it to you like a goddamn rocket launcher, and the total for everything would've been outrageous, but I was delighted by her flirtatious discount. Just like Flo in those Insurance commercials, she wants me! We guzzled, left and made it back quickly over to the street to get situated. Repeatedly, we had to travel inside the Tropicana to the bathrooms, which after the third time, started to feel like an ongoing joke. I saw someone passed out in a stall and a long haired dude vomiting. Or at least I hope that was real and not imagined.
We caught up with the homies Legato, Cristel and Haunt directly before midnight. Did we smoke a blunt? This too, could have been a hallucination. Either way, by the time the fireworks were exploding above, I had called/texted my cousin to try and meet up like 5 times, to no avail.
Now, I was six sheets to the wind. Fuck three. There was a random guy in a pimp get up, some fool in his underwear, and one in a bear outfit next to us. Apparently, the bear often tried to hug me, until I became enraged. I don't remember much after this.
The rest of this deranged night consisted of Jesta randomly finding an i-phone under an abandoned hat, an old woman seriously trying to pick a fight with me, and a taxi cab ride of confusion which included an obligatory stop at Roberto's taco shop. I was paying for the taxi with a debit card, while paying for fast food with the same debit card, while I was tanked. That felt mad shady, yo!
Needless to say, we got home. We grubbed, I passed out and woke up 3 hours later for work, with a thumb that hurt like Hell, and a cell phone filled with incoherent, nonsensical text messages and voice mails. I can solve these riddles, I must! Being at work was akin to inhumane slavery at this point, but at least it gave me the time to try to piece together all the unsolved mysteries and forgotten instances the last night had just given me. But as any party going, party monster will tell you, that's always the most fun and exciting part of time traveling. Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads... Now that's how you party on New Years Eve. I guess?

Sincerely your Marty McFly,
.,CAStLE,.

Just Beginning........

I'm just now starting this. This is nothing special. Just testing the waters, so to speak.............. More to come..